I Am Going To Die One Day

I am 17 years old. I grew up in Perth, Western Australia. My name is Isobel but everyone calls me Izzy and one day I am going to die. I know you didn't think that was how the sentence would end but I have a reason because there is always a reason. Im 17, and my life seems to be made up of multiple facts but I want to be more than that, more than small pieces of information that have nothing to do with who I am. 

Now that is a loaded question. Trying to answer who you are is painful and useless. No one has an answer and you just have to accept that. It perplxes me that I am so complicated, that I have so many feeling about so many different things yet I struggle to put them down on paper. It is odd because I will never know exactly who I am. 

Does the music I listen to define me? Do my values and morals define me? Is this all some cosmic joke and I am not meant to be defined or to know who I am? I am going to die some day and it would be nice to know that it meant something, that I had an impact. That someones life was better because I was in it. 

The scariest part about this is that I am the only one who can make my life something. I am the only one who can define who I am, to myself and to others. That is a hell of a lot of responsiblility for anyone. Yet it is given to everyone.

I want to be remember for my passion for music, my undying love for my friends, my love of my parents, my talent at netball, my sarcastic, witty sense of humour. I just want to be remembered. I am going to die one day and I dont know if I can handle the responsibility of choosing how I am percieved during the time I have.
I am going to die one day; and that scares me.